Get Your Paws Off Of My Pecker! – Texas Law Makes A Point

I was absolutely SHOCKED when I first heard about this horrifying and horrendous bill out of Texas. I mean, come on! Its not MEN you are supposed to be penalizing for enjoying their god given sexual urges!

Texas Law Would Fine Men For Masturbating, Require Rectal Exam For Viagra

Within 10 minutes of this story going national, old men everywhere rushed to their pharmacy for a Viagra refill. As the gun nuts said on every single day during Obama’s last 8 years, “Get them while you still can!”.

Proposed new law in Texas would require men who want Viagra to be subject to a rectal exam and would punish male masturbation with a $100 fine.

House Bill 4260, called the “Man’s Right to Know Act,” was filed late last week by a Democratic Texas legislator Rep. Jessica Farrar.

The Statesman reports the details of the new legislation:

The bill calls “masturbatory emissions” an “act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.”

The gloves are off, the women ain’t taking your shit anymore boys. Wish you hadn’t fucked around with their right to choose just to be a dink, yet?

The bill also contains provisions that would also put restrictions on vasectomies, Viagra prescriptions and colonoscopies, including:

  • The state must create an informational booklet called “A Man’s Right to Know” that contains information and illustrations on the benefits of and concerns about those three treatments. A man must review the booklet before going through with any of them.
  • A man must receive a rectal exam and an MRI of his rectum before any of the three treatments.
  • A man would not be able sue a doctor for refusing to provide those treatments or another procedure if the procedure violates the doctor’s “personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs.”
  • A doctor must obtain consent from the man before providing the treatment, and the man may give it only if he waits at least 24 hours after the doctor’s visit.
  • The state must establish a registry of nonprofit organizations and hospitals that provide abstinence counseling, a supervising physician for “masturbatory emissions,” and semen storage.

“Masturbatory emissions” must be stored for the wife for conception.

Masturbatory emissions. Sounds like the carbon footprint discussion of a mans porn consumption habits, at first glance.

The Statesman also notes that current state law “requires that doctors distribute to women considering an abortion the ‘A Woman’s Right to Know’ booklet, which contains illustrations of gestational periods and the risks and side effects of abortions. Women also must wait 24 hours after receiving the booklet and must undergo an ultrasound before the procedure. Abortion of a viable fetus can bring a penalty of at least five years in prison.”

The proposed legislation is an obvious attempt to satirize and draw attention to the unreasonable and dangerous policy proposals concerning women’s reproductive freedom coming from the Republican Party.

Commenting on her bill, Rep. Farrar told

A lot of people find the bill funny. What’s not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare.

Not funny indeed.

Though it remains to be seen how effective this will end up being (as a publicity stunt), A++ for effort and creativity. And keep up the excellent work for the citizens of your state. They need it.

6 thoughts on “Get Your Paws Off Of My Pecker! – Texas Law Makes A Point

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