Here we are again. Autumn.
The leaves are turning. The air has an unmistakable chill. Pumpkin spice is back on the menu. Winter is coming.
12 years ago, this was a great time to be alive. I was just beyond the struggles of high school. And I was just entering the realm of adulthood. Getting carded at the liquor mart or the convenience store was a thrill.
I’m not sure how long it was. 6 months to a year. But those months were great. The highpoint of my life. We passed the time with friends drinking, smoking and a little bit of toking. It was a welcome break from what lay behind us.
12 years later, it’s autumn again. The leaves are changing. There is a chill in the air. Pumpkin spice has been on the menu since late August.
But things have changed.
Everyone I once knew has either moved on, or moved away. Life is regimented and busy, but with little to show for it aside from stress and debt.
I exist. No more, no less.
And so it is. When the leaves turn beautiful, when the wind gets chilly, I think of the Halloween hot tub party. I think of a time when things were far less complicated and life was far more worth living.
At this time of year, I need a smoke.