107.) Easy Tear Packing Tape
Is it me, or is this stuff only easy to tear when you don’t actually WANT it to tear?
Try as I may, it won’t rip when I want it to. But break in half when I’m trying to peel it (causing the waste of an inch or so as I again re-align the tap as a whole) . . . an almost inevitability!
Fuck you, easy tear packing tape.
108.) Useless Voicemails
Few things drive me more bonkers than when someone feels it pertinent enough to call me and leave a voicemail, but they don’t actually tell me why they are calling.
“Hey _______, can you give me a call? I really need to talk to you. Thanks.”
Okay, talk to me about what? Something I need to do right away? Or something that can sit at the back of the priorities pile until further notice?
Since the people that engage in this behaviour tend to fancy themselves as self-important, I tend to end up placing these requests at the back of the to-do pile anyway. Another reason for this is that it is never ever about helping me out (“I have the money I owe you!”). It is ALWAYS something to be done for them (“Can you lend me $10?”).
If your gonna call me about something pertinent, tell me WHY it is pertinent. I don’t have the time or the patience to stroke your ego when all you want is $20.
This leads nicely to my next entry.
109.) Unnecessarily Lengthy Phonecalls
I phoned you to ask a question or otherwise complete some task that should not take over 5 minutes (often much less). I should not have to block out 45 minutes or more just because you don’t grasp the concept of other people having a limited amount of time to chat. This ties nicely into the last one because it is often the same people that do this.
In all honesty, I hate phone calls to start with. Considering how much time I spent tieing up the landline as a teenager, this is a relatively new development. Nonetheless, there is a much more efficient method available for the communication of minor bits and pieces of information than the telephone call . . . it’s called texting. Or Facebook messenger.
That I now have to set aside 45 minutes to reply to a voicemail is thus highly irritating. Which serves as a nice segway to the next gripe.
110.) Complete Disregard For Your Time
Sometimes after receiving a completely useless voicemail and finding a block of 45 minutes to set aside for such a conversation, you are faced with the probing conversation highlights and questions.
“You don’t normally call back the same day, is everything all right? What did you do today? Were you working? Were you out with your dad? Are you sure there is nothing wrong because it seemed a bit like you were avoiding me”
We all have to accept that everyone has flaws (as they must also do so for us). But for the love of nothing, enough with the questions just because I didn’t drop everything and immediately prioritize whatever the hell you called about.
Maybe there were other matters to attend to. Maybe I was not in the headspace to muster the amount of energy required to deal with the situation. Loved one or not, some people (mainly older types who seem to think that they are owed the world) seem completely incapable of fathoming how much strain they often put on people around them without a second thought.
Many might be prone to call that the typical rantings of a weak snowflake millennial.
To that I say, some of you old fogies REALLY have no concept of how much leeway and privilege the world has given you. And I’m not just talking about money and wealth, either. I’m talking about the freedom to continually spew and spread all manner of false, outdated and otherwise wrong information without remorse.
Whether it’s refusing to listen to my advice that you should NOT fully discharge your iPhone every time (battery technology has changed, making that process VERY BAD for the batteries long term health!), dead-naming transgender individuals or spewing racially tinged rhetoric about some other race, conversing with you ageing boomers can sometimes take A LOT of energy. For a cohort that can’t seem to shut up about Cancel Culture, they sure don’t seem to have any hesitation with saying anything that comes to mind.
Then there is the drop-in. Sometimes the problem is so important that they can’t wait for you to set aside a timeslot for them to see you, and they instead show up at your front door. Though I can categorize the rest of the annoying dealings of this cohort into it is what it is category and move on with my day, the drop-in tends to flat out piss me off. Though I know that the person sees nothing wrong with the gesture:
1.) As a quite introverted personality, even the sound of a ringing telephone is often intrusive, let alone the sound of an unexpected knock at the door or ring of the doorbell.
2.) Showing up at my door tells me that you don’t care what is or isn’t going on in my life at that moment, because your inquiry/problem is more important.
As much irritation as these certain sets of folks cause me in life, I doubt they will ever change. Because I doubt that either of these people could wrap their head around the fact that there is even a problem with this behaviour, let alone that they ought to lay off. I suspect it to be the ways of a different era and generation, despite the younger ones doing things differently.
111.) Covidiots and Vaccine Hesitation
I already wrote about this topic years ago after some previously well-controlled eradicated contagions began making a comeback in anti-vaccinated circles. This one really rubbed me the wrong way since the worst effects of the diseases were often being seen in the unvaccinated children of often times vaccinated parents. Say what I will about the previous generation in other areas, at least most of their children grew up immune to measles and whooping cough. Even if a segment of their kids would grow up to listen to the god-awful nonsense of Janny Mcarthy, Robert F Kenedy Jr and other anti-vax windbags.
112.) Facebook Goes Meta
Recently, Facebook Incorporated decided to rebrand and restructure itself. Instead of just being Facebook, owner of Instagram, WhatsUp and a handful of other apps that are increasingly gaining a sullied reputation, we now have Meta. Just as Google was spun off into a subsidiary of the parent company Alphabet some years ago, this is what Facebook has also done with its brands. Complete with a douchy name.
Companies tend to rename themselves for a select few reasons. Sometimes a name change reflects new business ambitions, as when Apple released the iPhone and stopped calling itself Apple Computer. Other times, it signals a corporate restructuring, as when Google renamed itself Alphabet; Larry Page became the CEO of Alphabet, not Google, clarifying his leadership beyond just search. Other times, a company seeks to distance itself from a sullied brand, as when cigarette-maker Philip Morris renamed itself Altria in 2001.
Facebook’s rechristening as Meta has some elements of all three. The company wants to define itself as a “metaverse” company, not just a maker of social media products. And Zuckerberg wants more of a hand in those new pursuits, rather than overseeing the Facebook app. The company also seeks a way out of the past few years of everyone dunking on Facebook, a name that’s become synonymous with mistrust and skepticism (not to mention conspiracy theories and genocide).
Speaking of douchy . . . what in the fuck is a metaverse company?!
Metaverse is a speculative future iteration of the Internet part of shared virtual reality, often as a form of social media. The metaverse in a broader sense may not only refer to virtual worlds operated by social media companies but the entire spectrum of augmented reality. The term arose in the early 1990s, and has come to be criticised as a method of public relations building using a purely speculative yet still “over-hyped” concept based on existing technology.
There is nothing like seeing black mirror episodes slowly come to life in the most painfully benign way possible.
Then again, such is the way of existence, isn’t it?
We all live in fear of the big IT that will spell the end. The asteroid, the virus, the EMP knocking out the continental electrical grid, the nuclear war. When in reality, the shift is far more gradual than sudden. Today, Facebook is threaded into the fabric of online life for most of us. In a decade, Meta might be a big part of whatever comes to constitute life as we will then know it.
Meta. Alphabet. Odeo. Tencent. Bytedance. Advance Publications. Snap Incorporated.
You may not know many (or ANY) of the companies above, but you can be certain that most of them know at least a little something about you. And that is just social media.
Amazon. Microsoft. ContextLogic Incorporated. Alibaba Group Holding Limited.
As a single cog, I am but a ripple in this tumultuous sea of evil. A raindrop in the ocean, if you will. Even this blog can’t escape, being hosted on a platform that plays host to a huge number of the internet’s websites (455 million, or over 62%). This monstrosity of content is known to the business world as Automattic.
Either way, the road to totalitarianism by corporate takeover is WAY too boring. At least Sam Esmail of Mr. Robot fame had the right idea in basing the show’s antagonist corporate entity E-corp (aka Evil Corp) loosely on the infamous Enron. Since it’s much easier to sell a huge cyber battle with Evil Corp than it would be to sell one with Alphabet, Tencent, Amazon or Meta.
Meta . . . more like Beta.
113.) Enough With The Legal Weed Limitations
The last time I put one of these multiple-choice rants together, I told employers who expect employees who push brooms, tap on keyboards or otherwise mindlessly toil away for WAY too little pay to go fuck themselves if they demand said employees to pass a drug test. I mean, imagine how controlling and narcissistic you have to be to pay a pittance and still think you own an employee for the entire duration of their employment.
I hope these managers sit on a cactus. After all, it would at least provide a reason for being such a prick. A thorn up the ass!
Todays rant, however, lays with the politicians. Not just the politicians, though. Also, doctors, police officers, guidance councillors, parole officers and everyone else whose largely uninformed opinions are bottlenecking the implementation of the legal cannabis market in this nation (Canada). After all, who else but the “What a terrible idea! Do you realize how POWERFUL today’s cannabis is?!” crowd would think that a 30 gram daily limit on cannabis was necessary. This, whilst a minor can purchase 216mg’s of caffeine through energy drink 6 packs at any convenience store or supermarket.
The sooner dumb and easily manipulated boomers are not in control of this stuff, the better.